There was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get cu...
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November 25, 2007 09:50 byAdmin
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.You use the term `over yonder' more tha...
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November 24, 2007 13:05 byAdmin
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.The car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't thin...
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November 24, 2007 03:57 byAdmin
A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, “What’s the problem officer?”
Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”
Man: “No sir, I was only doing 65.”
Wife: “Oh, Harry. You were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty ...
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November 23, 2007 03:21 byAdmin
During a moment of brilliance, and a man buys several sheep in hopes of breeding them for wool. He figured it’d be an excellent way to make some extra money. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him he shou...
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November 20, 2007 21:38 byAdmin
The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.The following are this year's ca...
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November 19, 2007 10:07 byAdmin
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so...
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November 18, 2007 11:41 byAdmin
Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run into a burning building. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There's nothing left to learn the hard wa...
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November 17, 2007 07:30 byAdmin
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
A: They don’t have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won’t stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Beca...
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November 16, 2007 22:23 byAdmin
What happens when people of different occupations get old.- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.- Old actors never die, they just drop apart.- Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.- Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.- Old bankers never die, they...
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November 14, 2007 21:16 byAdmin