You Might Be A Lutheran If... #9

...you think the communion wafers are too spicy. ...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ. ... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween. ...your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department. ...you think lime Jell-O with ... [More]
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The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It could have been worse. That’s pretty much my motto when stuff gets bad. Just when I think things can’t possibly go more wrong, they do. Remember that. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It’s triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your wife’s not talking t... [More]

Growing Up

My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5... [More]

Dear Santa

Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boyall yeer. Yer Friend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You'reon your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you canlearn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the spac... [More]

You Might Be A Redneck If #8

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.You've totaled every car you've ever owned.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.There is a wasp nest in your livi... [More]

How is the Italian version of Christmas different?

Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.
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After Christmas Thought

A few days after Christmas, my six year son and I were talking. He asked, "Mom, is there a Santa Claus?""Well, what do you think?" I asked him.He replied, "Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper." He thou... [More]
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I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts u... [More]

Christmas Treats

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
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Two older women

Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a Christmas party at their country club. "My dear," said Melinda, "Are those real pearls?" "They are," replied Coleen. "Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them,&... [More]