Ninja's killed my family

Funny News Headlines #13

Low Wages Said Key to Poverty: Newsday, July 11Man shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald, July 3Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes: The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows: The New York Times, March 10Man Run ... [More]

The Poopie List

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poop come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie: The kind where you poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have ... [More]

Perfect Pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"The owner says, "Alright, how about a cat?"The man replies, "No way! A cat can't do everything. I want a... [More]

Job Security Quiz

This job security quiz will help determine how long you’ll be at your current job and what what kind of future you’ll have. Much better than an 8 ball I think. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you… A. Swear to take the game off your hard dri... [More]

You Might Be A Redneck If #85

You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.You name your car the General Lee.You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.Warp drive describes the co... [More]

Funny Product Names

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissuesKolic - Japanese mineral waterCreap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee CreamerSwine - Chinese chocolatesLibido - Chinese sodaPocari Sweat - Japanese sport drinkShocking - Japanese chewing gumCat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towelsPipi - Yugoslavian orangeadePolio -... [More]

Signs That You Were Impacted By The 90's

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.2. You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."3. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.4. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.5. You call your son's beeper to let him... [More]
Tags:
Categories: Dirty Jokes | Clean Jokes
Actions: E-mail | Permalink | Comments (0) | Comment RSSRSS comment feed

Funny Classified Ads #2

Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home. For sale: Lee Majors (6 million dollar man) - $50 Nordic track $300 - hardly used - call chubbie at: Bill's Septic Cleaning - "We haul American made products" Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks Hummels - Largest selection ... [More]

Funny News Headlines #12

Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland Sentinal, date unknown.Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: The New York Times, November 22Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2'Light' meals are lower in fat, calori... [More]