What's a pig's favorite ballet?

Q. What's a pig's favorite ballet?
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Saddam Hussein's Chauffer

Saddam is riding in his limo in the Iraqi countryside when there is a sudden bump and the limo stops. The chauffer gets out, walks around the car and reports to Saddam, "I just killed a pig. I think it came from that peasant's hut by the road."So Saddam tells him to go and tell the peasant... [More]
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The Perfect Woman

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry an extraordinarily beautiful woman, so they could produce gorgeous children beyond compare. With that in mind he set out on a mission to find the perfect woman. Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorg... [More]

Last will & testament of a farmer

I LEAVE:To my wife: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.To my son: Equity on my car. Now he will have to go to work to meet the payments.To my banker: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.To my neighbour: My clown suit. He will need it if he continues to farm as he has in the pas... [More]

Deep Thoughts...

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?Is there anot... [More]

Amazing talking cow

A man's car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow.Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story."... [More]

Are YOU A HARD MAN?

Are YOU A HARD MAN?1/. When reaching your sexual climax do you?a) Make low moaning sounds in her ear.b) Suck on her neck to produce a love bite.c) Shove your thumb up her arse so she screams her tits off.2/. You're in bed one night and she whispers "I love you". Do you?a) Whisper back "I love you to... [More]

Law Suit

A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?" stated the counsel for the insurance company. "Yes, that's rig... [More]
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George Carlin Strikes Again

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy ... [More]

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse...

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines."Don't know," the woman said.He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the... [More]