Ninja's killed my family

Diet FAQ

The other day I read a news report stating that about two-thirds of the US adult population ages 20 and older are considered overweight, that’s darnright scary. With all these fat people running around (well they’re probably not running, I usually see ’em riding those little motori... [More]

Tyson Foods visits the Pope

A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, �Your Eminence, do we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from �give us this day our daily bread....� to �give us this day our daily chicken....� we will donate $500 million dollars t... [More]
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Categories: Food Jokes | Men Jokes
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He Can Believe It's Not Butter

EAST BERNARD, TX (DWPI) -- Local barber Merton Storch revealed today that he can believe that the margarine spread "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is not, in fact, butter. "I think it's obvious," said Storch."Butter is a creamy spread, while this crap is more like a spac... [More]

New cheese factory

Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel? It�s called "Cheeses of Nazareth".
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Categories: Food Jokes
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Dieting Tips

Finally, after all these years of trying yo-yo diets… phentermine, hoodia, cialis (no wait that’s for erectile dysfunction)… finally some diet tips that actually work. Enjoy feeling better about yourself. If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories. If you drink a diet soda wit... [More]

Dieting Rules

If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do. Food used for medicina... [More]

No UPC

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned al... [More]

Mess Cake

The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess Specialists) caught from the crew and how they gave back as much as they got. He talked to the Food Service Officer and decided to talk to the cooks and get them to be more cheerful when they served the meals to... [More]