Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green, my dog’s name is Blue And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain’t got no scales but I luv you... [More]

A military cargo plane

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw ou... [More]

Amazing Anagrams

Amazing AnagramsDormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness == Genuine Class Semolina == Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, ... [More]

Anniversary night

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself."How romantic!" she thought.Two-and-a-half hour... [More]
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You Might Be A Redneck If #5

Your satellite dish payments delays buying back-to-school clothes forthe kids.Your sister's child looks just like you.You've ever given rat traps as a gift.Your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive-in theater.The Home Shopping Club operator recognizes your voice.You've ever stolen clothes fro... [More]

Public Restrooms

My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on a public toilet seat." And sh... [More]

An Internet Christmas

T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,Wh... [More]

Husband 1.0

There are a lot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0 to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the implications of this change… For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, gar... [More]

Tennessee Dumb Laws

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Driving is not to be done while asleep. It is legal to gather and consume road kill The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.Hollow logs may not be sold. More than 8 wom... [More]

Bill Gates Perspective

Examine Bill Gates' wealth compared to yours: Consider the average American of reasonable but modest wealth. Perhaps he has a net worth of $100,000. Mr. Gates' worth is 400,000 times larger. Which means that if something costs $100,000 to Joe Average, to Bill it's as though it costs 25 cents. You ca... [More]