1. The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.2. The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.3. The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.4. The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, ...
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October 17, 2007 11:33 byAdmin
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I
have neverfigured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOREXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting i...
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October 9, 2007 16:53 byAdmin
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That's terrific, Lou. Costell...
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September 27, 2007 08:35 byAdmin
President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks thebarman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a
real honor! What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "W...
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September 15, 2007 19:32 byAdmin
“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means….”There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means….”Why isn’t it already on the table?”
...
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August 29, 2007 15:12 byAdmin
In the world of Real Estate, there are some pretty strange things on the printouts from our local Multiple Listings Service -- descriptions of properties for sale in our area. A typo here, missed punctuation there or just plain bad phrasing can change the entire meaning of a 'sales pitch'.
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July 9, 2007 11:18 byAdmin
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.The Earth Is Full -- Go HomeThis Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to MeCleverly Disguised as a Responsible AdultThe Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My NameIlliterate? Write For HelpHonk If Anything Falls OffHe Who Hesitates Is Not O...
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June 18, 2007 15:00 byAdmin
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really?! How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know - 'Our Father, who does art in Heav...
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May 16, 2007 23:58 byAdmin
Billy Graham went to see the Pope in Rome. While he was waiting, Billy noticed a red phone. As he was ushered in to talk to the Pope, he asked, "What's the red phone for?" "That's to talk to God," came the reply. "Really," Billy gasped, "how much does such a call c...
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January 3, 2007 01:28 byAdmin
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". &...
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January 1, 2007 14:00 byAdmin