Police Quotes

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "... [More]

Are You a Nerd?

INTRODUCTION:Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it's just us. In an... [More]

Things to Remember During a War

Things to Remember During a War1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire. 2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at. 4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat. 5. No combat-ready unit ever passed... [More]

Confucius Says 8

Confucius Says:War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left.Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out." A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose. When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth ... [More]

You Might Be A Lutheran If... #6

...doughnuts are in the official church budget. ...they have to rope off the last pews in church so the front isn't empty. ...you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you." ...you tap ... [More]
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You Might Be A Redneck If #5

Your satellite dish payments delays buying back-to-school clothes forthe kids.Your sister's child looks just like you.You've ever given rat traps as a gift.Your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive-in theater.The Home Shopping Club operator recognizes your voice.You've ever stolen clothes fro... [More]

Military Computer

World War III. The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any
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Categories: War Jokes
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The World's Easiest Quiz?

(Answers at the bottom. NO CHEATING!)1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?2) Which country makes Panama hats?3) From which animal do we get catgut?4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific a... [More]
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Categories: War Jokes | Animal Jokes
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Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars

Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars 10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids. 9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca. 8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma. 7. Star Wars spawn... [More]
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Categories: War Jokes | Elderly Jokes
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Public Restrooms

My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on a public toilet seat." And sh... [More]