When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.

Hire the Handicapped…Were fun to watch!!

STUPIDITY should be Painful

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Lord save me from your followers.

Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

Atheism is a non-profit organization.

And on the 8th day, God sobered up.

The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.