What
do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?


Juan on Juan




What is a Yankee?



The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
alone.




What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?


The
position of the dirt bag




Why is divorce so expensive?


Because
it's worth it.




What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
over?


Doughnuts?




Why is air a lot like sex?


Because it's
no big deal unless you're not getting any




What do you call a smart
blonde?


A golden retriever.




What do attorneys use for birth
control?


Their personalities.




What's the difference between a
girlfriend and wife?


45 lbs



What's the difference between a
boyfriend and husband?


45 minutes




What's the fastest way to a
man's heart?


Through his chest with a sharp knife.




Why do men
want to marry virgins?


They can't stand criticism.




Why is it so
hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?



Because those men already have boyfriends.




What's the difference
between a new husband and a new dog?


After a year, the dog is still
excited to see you










What makes men chase women they have no
intention of marrying?


The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have
no intention of driving.




Why don't bunnies make noise when they have
sex?


Because they have cotton balls.




What's the difference
between a porcupine and BMW?


A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.





What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?



"Are you sure it's mine?"




Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?



Mace will do that to you




Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
Virginia?


Everyone has the same DNA.




Why do men find it
difficult to make eye contact?


Breasts don't have eyes.




Did you
hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?


He walks around saying "Yo."




Why
do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays?


Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class
uses it.




Where does an Irish family go on vacation?


A different
bar.




Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?



They named him "Sum Ting Wong




What would you call it when an
Italian has one arm shorter than the other?


A speech impediment.





What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?


They're hiring.



What's the difference between a
southern zoo and a northern zoo?


A southern zoo has a description of the
animal on the front of the cage
along with.. "a recipe."




How do you
get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?


Get another sweet
little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!




What's the difference between
a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy
tale?

A northern fairy tale
begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairy
tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna
believe this shit...