# Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
# If we're in the
backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching
it.
# Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want
one.
# Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
# Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message
that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.
# Please don't
drive when you're not driving.
# The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't
trying to be brave, he's just not crying. Big difference.
# When the waiter
asks if everything's okay, a simple "Yes" will do.
# What do you mean,
'leering?' She's obstructing my view.
# When I ask, "How many guys have you
slept with?" It would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly.
#
When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying "This
is our exit" is not strictly necessary.
# The temperature in the cave will be
my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
#
Sports Center starts at 11:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time
for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.
# Is it
too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
# If we see you in the
morning and at night, why call us at work?
# Two hot dogs and a beer at a
baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.
# You probably don't
want to know what we're thinking about.
# Silence does not need to be
filled.
# It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz
together.
# And finally, No, you can't have the remote control.