Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and
noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included
in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, DrunkenBoysNight 2.5 and
SaturdayFootball 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I
cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of
my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7
.0, but un-install does not seem to work on this program.

Can you help me,
please!!!

Thanks,
Joe

______________________________________________________

Dear Joe:

This
is a very common complaint among men, about but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM, designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely
you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0, so nothing would be gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or
purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried
to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the
original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support."


I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.


In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the
GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider
buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0
and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of
luck,
Tech Support