I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I
have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR
EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I
don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was
that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough
for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for
who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping
at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted
new
shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for
each
outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she
was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't
even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all
of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I
think this is
all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain
myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just
went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then
said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not
in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me
to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I
added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not
for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight
either....but at least that
bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.